I learned this summer that I have the ability to be an incredibly selfish and cruel person. That disgusted me.

I learned that there is so much about God that I will never learn in Sunday School. I can sit in my comfortable "class room", but when it comes to test driving my faith, I falter.

I grew there, though. I've had lots of questions answered, my mind is more at ease. I learned this summer that it's okay to not understand. That's what faith is.

I learned that sometimes I just have to ignore people. The ones that tell me red hair looks silly on me, the ones who tell me photography won't take me anywhere, the ones who have no faith in me whatsoever, the ones who attacked me for bring up something that I was not comfortable with. I can bloody do whatever I set my mind to.

And that I really need to ignore the ones who tell my "bloody" is an incredibly offensive term in Europe. Yeah. I really DO NOT care.

I learned this summer that I can write. That even though other people won't like it, that it's not perfect, that it won't ever go anywhere. I don't care. I can write, and it sounds plenty magical to me.

I learned that I had not lost a friend, just forgot to nurture the relationship.

I learned to kick the butt of the preconceived notions about God and faith. I've been fed a lot of crap over the years. It's gonna take awhile to wade through the mess. To find what's true and real and what is of God.

I grew up a lot this summer. I noticed immature things in my peers, immature things in myself, I was desperate to change. Am desperate to change. To just grow up.

I learned that it's sometimes best to call your bestie and cry about nothing in your backyard at 10 at night, eating spinach ravioli and drinking lemonade out of wineglasses.

I learned that I really like going to concerts. That running through sprinklers at night is crazy-fun, that dirty dancing to this song in butt shorts is good for your soul, that "Christians" can be cruel and judgemental, that forgein boys are... very cute. ;)

I learned that spending time with myself is detrimental to a balanced Kara. Also spending time with other people is detrimental to a balanced Kara. I need a happy medium.

I learned that I like watching storms and reading Sabrina Ward Harrison on my back porch.

I realized that I am not a people-picture-taker. I like things that don't talk back to me. Like thread. And myself. I'm trying to learn.

I learned that sometimes it's best to walk away from friendships. Ones that are much too emotionally exhausting and that only take from you.

I learned that I missed my sister crazy-like. I cannot flippin' wait for October.

I'm proud that I converted three friends to black toe-nail polish. Haha.

I learned this summer that I'm freaking terrified of making mistakes. "The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one."--Elbert Hubbard. I'm now onto making mistakes.

I'm scared.

I learned this summer that I have to learn to read my hunches correctly. Because a heck of a lot of drama will happen when you don't listen to that voice.

I learned that I am not scared to wear purple 80's dresses in public.

I learned that I was strong enough to walk away from a situation that was full of dishonesty and lack of integrity. I haven't regretted that decision at all. I feel incredibly at peace.

I learned that I had a really bad attitude about school this past year. Not anymore, baby. School sucks at times, but, crapdangit, I'm don't care!

I learned that in my desperation for boy attention, I really had left myself scarred from a past "relationship". I'm getting over him. In the meantime I'm listening to "I Always Knew" by Tilly and the Wall. Over and over again.

I learned that am I'm a time-waster. I hate watching my life escape me.

I learned that eating hash browns on my roof with Steph and Tom is not as scary as I thought it would be.

I realized that not dealing with problems comes to bite me in the butt.

I learned that I cannot stop learning and growing and evolving.

This summer was good.

Last night I watched a warm wind happening. My kitty watched with this amusing interest.

Ah, to see the beauty in the storm.

The melody is what I like in life. The perfectly crafted little tune that skips and jumps out of a song. It's light and quick and sort of easy.

Sometimes it fades away from my mind that the melody is really trivial without the accompaniment. The song no longer holds power or life. The melody is pretty, the reality is the foundation.

It suddenly reminds you of what is important, it irritates you until realize what should really be taking root in your soul.

I like to flit and dance from one thing to another. Enjoying myself, yet constantly forgetting, complaining.

I think it's much too easy to complain.

Something reassuringly touches my soul, whispering "you don't need a clever melody, babe". Not acknowledging that little nudge cheapens things. Cheapens life into a supposedly easy and quick, little druggy trip.

The magic that life holds is drowned and bleached with what is hum-drum, boring, regular. What my head tells me is hum drum and boring.

I'm too afraid to make mistakes.

Tonight I just want to dance away with the dandelion whispings and take root.

I had a choclate muffin for breakfast.

So yeah.

Decided today that Michael Phelps is ridiculously hot.

That is all.


I probably should blog some more. So I will.

Errg. Uh. School registration was yesterday. It was crazy weird to be back. It almost felt like we all had just been away for a long christmas break. And that was not a good feeling.

I'm so sick of driver's ed. I'm also a really bad driver in downtown atmospheres. How was I supposed to know that city buses will randomly cut in front of me? Stupid buses.

My room is a disaster.

I need to pick up my camera more this week. And load a roll of film. Quite desperately.

Wow. My life is boring.

Really boring.

So..... Uh.

Some random photos.

Click on the pics for more detailed explanations.

It's pretty epic.

New prompts up at The Art is Found. We have the radtastic Amber Skolnick guesting. It's exciting. My page--

And another sneaky of a project. That I haven't started. I just get distracted my taking pretty pictures of projects. Hmm..

Oh! And Scrap for a Cure is hosting a flippin' sweet contest called "So you think you can scrap?". You can read about the info and first challenge right about here. A three month Design Team membership is up for grabs and some other awesome opportunities. They make such great, versatile kits and I highly recommend trying out! The challenges are fun and free kits are up for grabs! Do it!

I do think that is it for today. I'm a lazy butt and now I'm onto getting things off my hunkin'(technical term) to-do list.

Gross.

"...You need to realize something else: you can lead a perfectly good and satisfactory life even if you're not a writer [artist]. When I figured out that I could be perfectly happy and not be a writer, I became a better writer. The unhappiest people in the world may be the ones who think their happiness depends on artistic success of some kind." ~Wendell Berry

Dude. I so needed this today. Found on Keri Smith's blog.

I am in the same place that I seem to have always been in. A rut. That sucks.

I don't care that I haven't loaded a roll of film this week. That I've taken a total of about 6 photos this week. I don't care about that messiness seems to plague me.

I need a mango smoothie and good long talk with Ronnie.

I like cute, charming boys with red hair. Very cute charming boys. Oh, dear.

I'm sick of the "sighers". You know the girl that goes "no, no. it's fine. just do what you want". Then sighs. I realllllly really cannot stand those girls. Just tell me your freaking opinion and don't make me feel bad! I've made it a point to just not deal with them. To say "Okay. I WILL do what I want." Sheesh.

I'm sick of being bored.

I care that when I sat down to try and paint, it didn't work.

Sometimes I wish I could walk like a jock. Like the girl soccer players. They roll the tops of their workout pants and where t-shirts, with thin headbands to hold back their straightened hair. Well. Anyhow, they have a walk. It's totally suave and sometimes I laugh at them. I can do this, because, my sister is a soccer girl jock.

Honestly, I love the look I get when I wear a totally flippin' cute dress to school. It's like, "haha! screw the boring jeans with a plain colored top and flip-flops!". But, then I feel bad. Because some people don't care that much about what they where. And that is cool.

I

'm really excited for the possibility of snowcones with my besties and their.... very cute.... ;) Norwegian foreign exchange student tonight. Bring it on!

Did I mention that I'm sick of being bored? Well. Dude. I am.

I really want to wear my cute scarfy thing I got on sale at Urban Outfitters. But, it's too hot.

I just watched Michael Phelps on the Olympics. Hot DANG. You see... I have this thing for swimmers. Because they shave their armpits. I hate hairy airmpits. And Michael Phelpts happens to be really cute too. Mmmmhmmm.

Today is Saturday. I hate Saturdays.

I think I am in LOVE with film. It's magical. And grainy and filmy. It's good.

A little sneakie of an upcoming project. Relating to Etsy-ness. I'm Etsying y'all. Now to get my butt in gear.

Thanks so much for the well wishes and encouragement with Hambly. I'm still really shocked that I was picked, judging from the amount of talent that applied. But, what a well rounded team! It's so awesome, can't wait to work with the product and those lovely ladies.

Planning for a nice quiet week of relaxing and creativity. Books. Lots of books from the library. The Life of Pi, The Ragamuffin Gospel, The Journey is the Destination, and hopefully Breaking Dawn in the next few days. :D

Quite a few random bits of designy stuff that I'm up to. I have a new little project working with a wildly creative and talented lady. That will be debuting in a few weeks ish. All I can say... is that I freaking love it.

New TAIF prompt coming up this next Monday. Awesome GD, fun prompt, wicked sweet RAK. Love seeing how that little side project of mine has evolved so. Dude. I love my TAIF girls. :)

Also. New Music. Jenrenee-pants sent me an awesome mix. New lovelies from iTunes. The Boy like Girls album. Funnnn stuff. Really loving Panic! At the Disco recently, they have a unique sound that I love.

Bought some new black converses yesterday. It took all my will power not to get the charcoal gray ones. Dude. How am I supposed to choose between black and gray! It was rough. :D

Trying to get the finishing touches on the kit I've put together for my love, Mandi. It's been SOooooo fun.

Totally excited that Marie asked me to Guest Design at Scrap Mojo.
Woot.

My page--

And some osomosisly cool film photos from this last week. :D

Okay.

So. I want to hear what's inspiring YOU right now. Feel free to show different creative mediums. Photographers, blogs, books, indie films, music, artists, magazines, catalogs, whatever!

I love me some inspiration. :D